Shut your ears

The media will always lie. Anything bad you hear about us is a lie. Don’t believe it! Turn off the television, the radio, unplug your phone, don’t collect your mail and, whatever you do, don’t talk to your neighbours. We are “urging people, to not buy the papers, to not read the papers, to not trust what they read about [the] administration in the papers.” Your friendly GOP representative will make a house call to let you know what is, and what is not, the truth. Please remain in your homes with the doors secured until such time. This has been a public service announcement from the administration.

Because we know what’s best for you.