Missing Person

My life. A boat,
Drifting over the ocean,
Meandering towards an unknown
Destination. There is a port,
Somewhere. I don’t know
It’s location, or even if
I’m going in the right
Direction. The waves push me
Where they will. I fight to
Control my vessel. How can I
Steer a boat when I don’t know
Where I want it to go? Who is
The wind? What do I call the waves?
They try to direct me, but
I reject them. I try to make
My own way, and get lost. Somewhere
I left my life behind. And I
Can’t go back and get it.

I’m not sure when I wrote this. It was at a period when I felt particularly helpless, and definitely before I became a X’n. Missing Person’s follow-up, Accounted For, was needed after I became a X’n and was written with joy and certainty, as opposed to the confusion and lack of direction that led to this poem.
What’s with all the poems?

Accounted For

My life. A boat,
Plowing through the ocean,
Steaming towards a promised
Destination. There is a port,
Where You will greet me.
I know its location, and I
Fight to stay on course.
You are my direction.
You are the wind.
You are the waves.
Always I felt your hand, guiding,
Nudging, pushing, shoving. But
I went my own way. In
My little dinghy I tried
To steer against the sea of
Your love. How could I reject it?
I cannot make my own way, or
I am lost. You are my direction.
I have left a life behind.
I will not go back and get it.

I’m not quite sure when I wrote this, but I really felt the need to answer Missing Person. Things had changed so much after I became a X’n. My life took maybe not a whole new direction but definitely a whole new focus. It would have been written after October 2002, but I’m not sure exactly when.
What’s with all the poems?

Heart’s Abode

Wet season. Dry Season. Coconut
Palm beaches and tall grass
Dancing across the rugged
Highlands. Home?
Burning summer. Brisk July. Heavy
Heat, rolling surf and the
Shock of frost at dawn in
Queensland. Home?
July furnace. Frozen winter. White,
Howling blizzard. Green cornstalks
Whisper by straight-shot highways of
Iowa. Home?
Lonely without. Joyful within. My
Life is for You. Always
There, is the grace and love of
Jesus. Home unceasing.

This was most likely written around Xmas 2002 or early 2003. As an MK (missionary kid), there was always thought, and discussion, about where you really felt ‘home’ was. It’s a hard thing to define, but since becoming a X’n it seems much less important. That’s what this was about.

The ‘Highlands’ refers to Papua New Guinea, where I was for about seven years of my life, but haven’t been back since I was thirteen. The ‘frost at dawn in Queensland’ is not a regular event, hence the shock when it happened because that meant it was really cold!
What’s with all the poems?

coconut coconutter Coconut, coconutter, coconuter, cocconuter, cocconutter, cocconut, cocconutt, I am David, NASA Coconut Spaceman, watch me dance, Philippiness Coconuter, Super big coconuts

Monkey See, Monkey Do

UN see, UN do.

Nothing, that is. US ambassador to the UN, John Danforth gives in to the security council and its desire to watch people die. Harsh? Well then ACT! And what is with the Arab League? They say a sufficient time-frame is needed for the Sudanese government to comply. You order people to stop attacks. They stop.

One of the things John Danforth said:

We don’t want to impose sanctions on Sudan, we want Sudan to be prosperous

Never mind Darfur and it’s dead, starving and terrorised people. As long as the country is prosperous.

I know I keep throwing in links, but if anyone really cares to know some good background, Robert Corr has done a great post on Sudan. It’s very informative; that is, quite the opposite of most of what you’ll get here.

Case in Point

A couple of things happened today.

  1. I went to Centrelink and changed to Austudy. The lady I see is nice enough, but has no heart…
  2. Went to the garage and picked up my fixed car
  3. completed my tax return

None of that is very interesting except that my car just needed new points (but they also did timing and regapped spark plugs…). Still not interesting… but if I’d known that I could have done it myself. Instead I paid a mechanic $40. He actually never called me and said, “This is what it needs, want me to go ahead with it?” Then I could have politely declined, snuck in in the middle of the night, done it myself and drove my car away… Well, actually I probably couldn’t have. Thanks Mr Mechanic dude.

I’m getting Athens fever. Evidenced by an increased heart-rate due to the excitement of seeing the SBS coverage program (I haven’t even looked at Seven yet). This is followed by a cold sweat of fear about the conflict in attaining an education, while at the same time watching every minute of Australia at the Olympics. This goes in cycles and includes a mental rescheduling of my entire life around night-shift sleep patterns…

Sport is not everything, sport is not everything…..sigh.